Is there anything I can do about my ex neglecting his visitation rights?

My ex and I have a 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old son together. Our divorce states that he is to pay child support and have the children every other weekend and on certain holidays. He pays child support, but he refuses to take the children every other weekend. Instead, he goes four to five months without seeing them and then drops by on one of his weekends and takes them. This is starting to cause emotional problems with both of them. Our daughter has always been extremely close to him. She wants to see him and gets really excited about going to his house and spending time with him. However, he is full of empty promises to come and get her and she is broken hearted every time he doesn't show up. It also really affects her when he shows up out of nowhere, takes her with him on Friday, and then walks right back out of her life on Sunday. She always wants to know why he never came back to get her and why she can't go and see him. I do my best to explain things to her without putting him down and making her feel worse, but a few months later he'll pop right back into her life and confuse her again.As for our son, his father is almost like a stranger to him. He only saw him twice for the first 6 months of his life. When my ex drops by for his visit with them every 4-5 months, our son does not want to go with him. He cries when they leave and cries for the entire weekend. I don't want to make him go, but he is paying child support and I have no choice.This can't be healthy for our children. In my opinion, being a father is an all or nothing job. I think he should take his visits as he is supposed to or just sign over all rights to me. I realize I would lose child support if he signed over all rights, but I have to do what is best for them. I don't want him to walk out of their life forever, but I have to wonder if that could be any worse than what they are going through now. Is there anything I can do to force him to take his visitation with them or sign over rights if he doesn't? I live in Alabama if that helps on any state laws.I am sorry for such a long post, but I really need some advice on this. It is breaking my heart to see my babies so upset when there is nothing I can do to make it better! Thanks for taking the time to read this and thanks in advance for any advice you can offer. answer: What's best for the kids is to keep their dad in their life as much as possible. Kids will follow your attitude on this, so if you stay positive then you're doing your kids a big favor. When your kids are older, they will figure things out for themselves and if dad is still a flake when they are teenagers, they'll probably refuse to see him when they are old enough to make that choice. Until then, change your attitude and teach them some coping skills. You can set the expectations so there's less disappointment if he doesn't show up. You can have a Plan B -- something else to do that's just as fun -- if he doesn't show up. It will also help to keep your personal feelings on the matter to yourself when your children are present or within ear shot. If they hear you speaking poorly of their father, it will influence how they feel and they will remember it when they are older. So take the high road. As far as dealing with your ex, I'd take extra measures to call him during the week to remind him when it's time for visitation. It's not ideal and it's sad that you need to do it, but it sounds like he needs the extra push to put his kids at the top of his agenda. But if you take a positive attitude with him and remind him how much the children need their father and how much you appreciate him when he is involved with the children -- you might be able to work through this without going to court or escalating the situation. Your end goal is to get him to understand he is needed and his children are number one. You don't need a judge for that. You need tons of patience and a loving, supportive attitude. People do change. Someday he will probably thank you for not allowing him to walk out on those kids. And someday your kids will thank you for doing all you could to keep dad involved. Good luck. You have your work cut out for you.

Man paying child support for child thats not his.

Men can be legally responsible even if they aren't fatherAlexis Lisenbee, 51, rummaged through records concerning his child support cases on Tuesday afternoon.Lisenbee has been in the child support system since the 1970s, when he was a young man and began paying for a child he said he did not father."I told them the child wasn't mine," Lisenbee said. "I was told to sign the papers to pay for the child support or go to jail."Lisenbee said he was "naively" tricked into signing and now owes thousands of dollars in back-pay child support for the woman who is now fully grown and 28 years old.Lisenbee paid $450 for a DNA paternity test issued by Paternity Testing Corporation in November. The test confirmed the woman is not his child. He still pays child support.Although Tennessee has to prove a man's fatherhood, the state doesn't have to disprove paternity in child support cases, said Tanya Jones, child support administrator. If a man signs an acknowledgement or birth certificate, for example, no other proof is required.Jones declined to discuss Lisenbee's case but shared her expertise on paternity law.If a man acknowledges he is the father at a child's birth, for example, then years later uses a DNA test to prove he isn't the father, the state isn't liable to pay him back, she said. Even with a DNA test, court action is required to stop a child support order."A judicial action to disestablish paternity of a child can, however, be initiated by the legal father by obtaining a DNA test by an accredited testing laboratory that would be admissible under state law and the Tennessee Rules of Evidence," Jones said. "If the test confirms that the man is not the father, the court may then disestablish that man as the legal father of the child."The court could prospectively order that further child support would not be owed for the child by that man," Jones continued. "The law provides that the state is not liable for repayment of money paid previously as child support if the court disestablishes paternity that was established by court order or voluntary acknowledgment."Lisenbee had his DNA test results notarized and mailed to the child support office in Clarksville. He hasn't received a response and is still making child support payments (for three children, two he claims aren't his) from his disability check, he said.Lisenbee is outraged he is forced to pay for a child he has proven isn't his. He feels he is being wronged.Court actionLisenbee thinks the state is obligated to repay him or, at least, stop forcing him to pay for the woman he's proven isn't his child.Jones said something can be done."In certain instances that a person who was determined to be the legal father of a child by way of a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity can have that determination overturned by court action if fraud, duress or material mistake of fact at the time of execution of the acknowledgment can be shown."Lisenbee said he feels "railroaded" because he has the proof and nothing is being done in his behalf, he said."I've been told to go to court, get an attorney to prove the kids aren't mine," Lisenbee said. "They are wrong, and they know they are wrong. They need to overturn this and pay me every cent back. Why should I be forced to pay thousands of dollars for an attorney when the paperwork says it all."2 other childrenLisenbee also pays child support for two other children, an 18-year-old girl he said is his and a 13-year-old boy he claims isn't. He loves them both dearly, he said.In 1995, a woman had a son, and Lisenbee thought the child was his. He signed the birth certificate and later began child support payments.When the child became sick and needed surgery, Lisenbee said he found out he could not give blood to the boy. He then doubted the boy was his. The boy receives monthly payments from Lisenbee.The $747 disability check Lisenbee receives from the Social Security Administration is reduced to $260 after child support, according to Social Security records.Lisenbee plans to get a DNA test to prove the boy isn't his.Paternity lawsJones said a man can become a legal father in child support cases through the following routes:By paternity order made by a judge.By paternity acknowledgement signed in the hospital at birth.By being named in the birth certificate or an affidavit signed by the father and mother if they're unmarried.A judge can hand down a paternity order if the father is not present and the judge by default finds the man is the child's father.Lisenbee said he was never given a blood or DNA test by the Child Support Division for any of the children he pays for. He said he's lived in another state and has been in the military and never attended a paternity hearing. He thinks he has been deemed father by default.

in the perspective

Well worth the read. The Difference Between Rich/Poor People?One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would beconsidered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?""It was great, Dad.""Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked."Oh yeah," said the son."So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.The son answered:"I saw that we have the one dog and they had four.We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyondour sight.We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.We buy our food, but they grow theirs.We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."The boy's father was speechless.Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what wedon't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

HOUSE FIRES PLEASE READ

I received this message from a friend who is in the property insurance business. It is well worth reading. The original message was written by a lady whose brother and his wife learned a hard lesson this past week. Their house burned down.. nothing left but ashes. They have good insurance so the house will be replaced and most of the contents That is the good news. However, they were sick when they found out the cause of the fire. The insurance investigator sifted through the ashes for several hours. He had the cause of the fire traced to the master bathroom. He asked her sister-in-law what she had plugged in the bathroom. She listed the normal things....curling iron, blow dryer. He kept saying to her, "No, this would be something that would disintegrate at high temperatures". Then her sister-in-law remembered she had a Glade Plug-In, in the bathroom. The investigator said that was the cause of the fire. He said he has seen more house fires started with the plug-in type room fresheners than anything else.He said the plastic they are made from is THIN plastic. He also said that in everycase there was nothing left to prove that it even existed. When the investigator looked in the wall plug, sure enough the two prongs left from the plug-in were still in there. Her sister-in-law had one of the plug-ins that had a small night light builtin it. She said she had noticed that the light would dim and then finally go out.She would walk in to the bathroom a few hours later, and the light would be back on again. The investigator said that the unit was getting too hot, and would dim and go out rather than just blow the light bulb. Once it cooled down it would comeback on. That is a warning sign. The investigator said he personally wouldn't have any type of plug-in fragrance device anywhere in his house. He has seen too many places that have been burned down due to them.

Obama, making his move...

Day in and day out I hear the same rhetoric that Conservative talk show host like Russ Limball, Ben Ferguson and Michael Savage speak about Obama and how they warn the american public if they elect Obama that the world is headed for destruction. The main topic is he has no experience. Okay, maybe he does not. Lets look at his experience, he ran a successful campaign that defeated Hillary Clinton for the democratic nomination. Not bad for a rookie... He makes mistakes but recovers from them quickly.

Ben Fergerson favortie thing to do ask why should he vote for Obama, and leave hope and change out of it... So here are my reasons why you should vote for Obama.

1) He wants to end the war. He has a plan and wants to put it in effect. 2) Universal health care. Millions and millons of people are in need of health care and can not afford it! 3) The gas prices are out of hand and he wants to lower gas prices... 4) He says he represents change, to be honest I have no ideal what change is, but the main thing is we need something more than what we have been given. So if that represents change, let me get a shot of that,

Hip-Hop Mogul Russell Simmons Sets It Straight On Child Support Ruling

In a letter addressed to critics, hip-hop music mogul Russell Simmons, 50, defended a child support ruling that was filed Tuesday in Los Angeles Superior Court involving the hip-hop mogul and his ex-wife Kimora Lee Simmons, 33, and their two daughters Ming Lee, 8, and Aoki Lee, 5. Simmons set the record straight regarding the amount of child support he pays and why he's glad to pay it. In the statement, Simmons stated the following: Friends of mine have forwarded me gossip online about my custody agreement details with Kimora. The fact is, we’ve had a pretty good partnership at sharing the girls in the past. There have been a few bumps in the road, and those bumps have led us to negotiate a minimum amount of time I’m guaranteed to see my kids. That deal is as follows: I have the girls one full week out of every eight, half of the summer, half of all the holidays, a full week at Christmas, and half of Spring Break. Like in all good partnerships, contracts are meant to protect the partners but are usually not the only way the partners work together. If I show up in L.A., where she now lives, unannounced, I can call up Kimora and she will most likely send them right over. The same goes for when she comes to New York. We have always had a school in New York and a school with the same curriculum in L.A., so when the girls are with me in New York, we can spend quality time together. I can get up with them, take them to school and just be together. Kimora consults with me about doctors or schools for the girls, but she’s always had final say in those areas. If we had an argument about a school, guess who’s going to win? But there are other stipulations in our agreement where we have to make final decisions together. Anything having to do with business decisions pertaining to my kids cannot be done without my consent. I’ve also seen a lot about people reading into the supervised visits stipulation. Kimora travels with a security guard and a nanny. In the past, she’s gotten really nervous that I never travel with security, so if it makes her more comfortable to have her security and a nanny with us when I’m with my kids, that’s OK with me. Finally, I want to say Kimora is a excellent mother and is doing a great job with them. My kids are studying a couple of foreign languages, they travel around the world, they practice yoga, ballet, swimming, karate and piano, among other things...sometimes I think they do too much, but I trust in Kimora on this because she IS a good mother. Regarding the money, my kids live a tremendous life. They do have lots of security, nannies, educators, special programs, travel, chefs, on and on. Their mother manages all of those luxuries and I’m happy to provide for that. With great love all things are possible. Russell Simmons -- The ruling made on Tuesday granted Kimora Lee, sole custody of their two young daughters, while allowing Simmons one week of visitation out of every eight weeks and extra time for summer vacations and holidays. Russell Simmons will be paying $20K a month per child which reportedly stops at the age of 19 1/2 or when they are married, becomes financially independent, emancipated, stops living with their mother or joins the armed forces. In addition, Simmons will allegedly also buy or lease a car for his two daughters in the amount of $60K or more, once every 24 months. When Kimora Lee Simmons filed for divorce from Russell in March, the CEO of the Baby Phat clothing line, reportedly cited irreconcilable differences. The two have been married for almost 10 years. In other news, Kimora Lee Simmons alleged has stated that she is "kind of" engaged to her now boyfriend, actor Djimon Hounsou. The two have been reportedly dating for several months and Kimora stated that she wasn't actually looking for romance when she met the actor back on last February.

Bill Clinton says Barack Obama must 'kiss my ass' for his support

Bill Clinton is so bitter about Barack Obama's victory over his wife Hillary that he has told friends the Democratic nominee will have to beg for his wholehearted support.
So I was wondering is that 10 million dollar donation that Obama is going to give them to pay up all her campagin debt, going to be enough ass kissing?