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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Too Smart for first grade



A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students.The teacher asked, "Harry,what's your problem ?"Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rdgrade and I'm smarter than she is !I think I should be in the 3rd grade too !Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to theprincipal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he wouldgive the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was togo back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreedto take the test.Principal: "What is 3 x 3 ?"Harry: "9Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"Harry: "36".And so it went with every que stion the principal thought a 3rd gradershould know.The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go tothe 3rd grade."Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."The principal and Harry both agreed.Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of ?"Harry, after a moment: "Legs."Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have ?"The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question !Harry replied: "Pockets !Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into ?"Harry: "Pants"Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C & ends with a T, is hairy, oval,delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid ?Harry: "Coconut."The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky ?"The principal's eyes opened re ally wide and before he could stop the answer.Harry: "Bubble gum"Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and adog does on three legs ?"Harry: "Shake hands."The principal was trembling.Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'UCK' that means a lotof heat and excitement ?"Harry: "Firetruck"The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry inthe fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong

George Carlin's Views on Aging


Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excitedaboutaging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six andahalf. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.


You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey,you'regonna be 16!


And then the greatest day of your life . . you become 21.Eventhe words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!


But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you soundlikebad milk!


He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now,you'reJust a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put onthebrakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 andyour dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.


You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's aday-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."


Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a littlekid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG







1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them "



2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.



3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil'sworkshop."And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.



4. Enjoy the simple things.



5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.



6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person,whois with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you arealive.



7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family,pets,keepsakes, music, plants , hobbies, whatever. Your home is yourrefuge.



8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it isunstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the nextcounty; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.



10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.



AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Top 10 E-Mail Scams

Top 10 E-Mail Scams
by Joshua Fruhlinger, posted Jul 16th 2008 at 12:03AM

You've heard about them, you've seen them, perhaps you've been had by one: e-mail scams. Millions of people are cheated over e-mail every year. In 2005 alone, consumers lost nearly $14 million dollars to Internet scams. Sadly, that number is on the rise as crooks come up with new methods to get at your money and information. We capture five of the worst on the following pages.


Usually, scammers attempt to trick you into filling out forms on rogue sites. Rogue sites usually look legitimate (some are even replicas of legitimate sites you trust), but they are set up to spread a virus, collect names for spammers or grab your personal information. Other scams try to get you to reply to e-mails requesting your personal data like passwords and bank account numbers. Once you've given up the info, criminals can siphon your cash, make purchases and get out before you even have a chance to track them down.

We talked to Carol McKay of the National Consumers League to get some advice, which we've included here, on handling some of the bigger scams. She offers up some tips you literally can't afford to miss, and we've come up with a few of our own that should keep you safe from persistent online scammers. Read on, and stay safe....






Scam #1: Investment Pump & Dump

The Come-On

Everyone wants to be in on the ground floor when it comes to investing, so it's no surprise that millions of people go for this one: You receive an e-mail from someone claiming to be a power broker containing a hot tip on a penny stock that promises to double, even triple, in short time. So you go for it, only to see it tumble within hours. One such e-mail we received just this week looks like this:


Subject: Your 221.43% - breaking results

DarkLord: DWPI Hits The Street, Price Climbs 221.43%

Distributed Power Inc.
Symbol: DPWI Price: $0.40 (+0.31)

News hits the streets!!! DPWI acquires huge oil reserves, drills deeper on current wells increasing production, and now opens Asian division. Investors go nuts today and price rockets 221.43%. Act fast, read the news and get on DPWI first thing Tuesday!

The Scam

Turns out the people who send you the e-mail in the first place are waiting for a few people like you to get the stock up so they can get out before you even have a chance.


What You Can Do

Carol says: "Legitimate investments are risky, and legitimate brokers will admit that to customers. Be especially wary of offers that arrive via e-mail, offshore investments or commodities, and high-pressure sales tactics. And, if you can't afford to lose all your money, don't invest any of it."

Scam #2: Cancel This Order!

The Come-On

So you're surfing the 'Net one night and you receive an e-mail confirming your order. You think, "What order?"


The Scam

You follow the "cancel" link in the e-mail, thinking you're protecting your credit card, when all you're doing is giving a rogue site your personal data.


What You Can Do

Carol says: "These e-mails should be deleted immediately upon receipt. It's simple: If you didn't order something but you receive an e-mail asking you to confirm the 'order,' call the company that appears to be sending the message, and get to the bottom of [the situation] over the phone. The customer service representative will likely tell you they don't have any record of this activity, and you'll know for sure that you just avoided the bait."

You can also call your credit card company to see if a random charge actually appeared. Review with them purchases you have made, and if anything stands out, immediately dispute the charge. Most credit card companies will work with you to first freeze the card and then trace the charge.



The Come-OnAfter all those MegaBall tickets and EasyScratches, you finally get that e-mail -- you've won millions! The ScamOf course, in order to get the money, you'll need to submit your bank account and credit card information because there's a handling charge. You'll be charged, usually for the handling charges of $75-100 and never get the winnings.What You Can DoCarols says: "An e-mail claiming that it's your lucky day most likely actually means the exact opposite. You should never pay to play. It's illegal for a company to require you to buy something or pay a fee in order to win or claim a prize. And real winners pay taxes to the government, not the company purporting to be giving you the 'prize.'"






Scam #4: Nigerian Letter Scam

The Come-On

The "419 letter," named for the Nigerian penal code that addresses crime schemes, shows up as an e-mail from someone looking for your help in a seemingly desperate yet worthy cause, usually someone looking to give money away in his or her final days. An excerpt from a particularly desperate one follows:


"...before my late husband died he was a major oil tycoon,and deposited the sum of 25 million dollars ( Twenty five million dollars) in one of the Spanish bank in Madrid,Spain. some years ago,thats all i have left now,i need you to collect this funds and distribute it according to the God wishes and for charity . so that when i die my soul can rest in peace.the funds will be entirely in hands and management. i hope God gives you the wisdom to touch very many lives,that is my main concern. 20% of this money will be for your time and effort,while 80% goes to charity. So if you know you can assist me then forward to me immediately the following informations.
1) NAMES AND ADDRESS
2) PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS
3) YOUR NATIONALITY
4) OCCUPATION
5) AGE and your Marital Startus.
Please reply back to me on this email: jennydiaz@mail.vu."


The Scam

In exchange for your personal information like bank accounts and routing numbers, the sender promises a large lump sum for your help. You never get the money, of course, and the e-mail sender is across the world impersonating you, creating an alternate version of you with credit cards and bank accounts until your credit goes so bad that you will spend years trying to fix it.

You will even often get official-looking documents to get you to pony up for shipping and documentation fees, making the whole thing look legitimate.


What You Can Do

Carols says: "Free money from Nigeria offered in an e-mail from a princess in distress or a diplomatic prisoner? Fat chance. These scams have been plaguing consumers for years, with variations on the dramatic set-up, but the bottom line is the same: Getting involved with these scams can be more than just a waste of your time. They can also be dangerous and life-threatening."

For more information, 419eater.com has a great FAQ that even documents some of the cases as well as some citizens fighting back against the scammers. Warning: Some of these accounts are for mature audiences only.



Scam #5: Gone Phishing

The Come-On

This scam usually comes in the form of an e-mail warning you that you need to update your bank (or PayPal) account for security purposes.


The Scam

The link in the e-mail takes you to what looks like your bank's real Web site, but is actually a rogue site designed to capture your login information. Once the criminals have this information, they can go and log into your actual account and begin siphoning money, information, and even try to use the same log-in information for your other accounts, as most people use the same password across various sites.


What You Can Do

Carol says: "Crooks have come up with some pretty ingenious ways of disguising themselves as a trusted institution or company in order to get consumers' personal information. The key to avoiding ID theft via being phished is to remember that YOU are in control of your personal data. Keep it secure, and don't give it to someone who prompts you to unless you're confident that they need it for legitimate purposes."




Scam #6: US Bombs Iran

The Come-On:

You get an e-mail announcing that the United States has invaded Iran, or some other sensational news headline, with a link to the news story.


The Scam:

The Web site is designed to look like a real news page with a video player and a banner, but they're fakes. Once you click them to get the story, you're in danger of downloading malware known as the 'Storm Worm,' a backdoor Trojan. Beware of anything named "iran_occupation.exe."


What You Can Do:

Don't rely on anonymous e-mails to get your news. If you see a headline and you absolutely must find out if it's true, then go to a trusted news site rather than click on the link. If you do fall for it, make sure your antivirus and malware protections are up-to-date.






Scam #7: Make Money From Home!

The Come-On:

You get an e-mail offering you a job that sounds like an easy way to make a quick buck. All you have to do is cash a check, keep a percentage for yourself, and wire the rest back.


The Scam:

Like the Nigerian fraud, the funds you're getting are fake, even though they might look legit. A few days after you deposit the check and wire the rest back, the check will be discovered as phony and you'll have paid the scammers from your own pocket.


What You Can Do:

Don't be fooled by personal job offers. Many times, scammers find victims through online ads and try to threaten legal action if you don't comply. As always, if it's too good to be true, it probably is.







Scam #8: Phishing for Stimulus

The Come-On:

You're getting a tax refund from the IRS. Woohoo, free money!


The Scam:

The e-mail, which comes from "tax-refunds@irs.gov," provides a link for you to follow to fill out a special form with personal and financial information. In reality, the IRS will never ask for this info unsolicited, and you don't have to fill out anything more than your normal tax forms to get the refund.


What You Can Do:

Delete the message. If you feel like maybe you deserve the refund and have questions about it, contact the IRS at 1-800-829-1040 . They'll tell you all you need to know.



You're getting a tax refund from the IRS. Woohoo, free money!The e-mail, which comes from "tax-refunds@irs.gov," provides a link for you to follow to fill out a special form with personal and financial information. In reality, the IRS will never ask for this info unsolicited, and you don't have to fill out anything more than your normal tax forms to get the refund. Delete the message. If you feel like maybe you deserve the refund and have questions about it, at . They'll tell you all you need to know.







Scam #9: Donate To Scammers!

The Come-On:

People in China and Myanmar need your charity.


The Scam:

Preying upon people's guilt after the disasters that killed thousands and affected millions, e-mails ask for charitable donations. Many times, the e-mails will warn against spam e-mails and unsecure transactions before taking you to a legit-looking page to donate directly to defrauders.


What You Can Do:

Don't give in to unsolicited charity pleas. If you're going to donate over the Internet, visit the charity of your choice directly, by typing the Web site address directly into your browser's address field.









Scam #10: Pay Or DieThe Come-On:A hitman has been hired to kill you but there's a chance he'll let you live. The Scam:An e-mail from the killer says you'll survive if you pay him off immediately. Naturally, the scammer hopes you'll panic and send the money, but there's no immediate threat. Often, they'll include some generic personal details that are easily found on the 'Net to heighten your fear. What You Can Do:Keep cool, even if the threat seems credible. Ignoring it is the best idea, and if you feel the need to, contact the authorities. After all, a death threat is a death threat is a death threat.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The best days of my life


Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever

There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today;but I did!
And because I did I'm going to celebrate!
Today, I'm going to celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger.

I will go through this day with my head held high and a happy heart.
I will marvel at God's seemingly simple gifts:


the morning dew,


the sun,


the clouds,












the trees,











the flowers,




the birds.




















Today, none of these miraculous creations will escape my notice Today, I will share my excitement for life with other people. I'll make someone smile. I'll go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don't even know. Today, I'll give a sincere compliment to someone who seems down. I'll tell a child how special he is, and I'll tell someone I love just how deeply I care for them and how much they mean to me.


Today is the day I quit worrying about what I don't have and start being grateful for all the wonderful things God has already given me. I'll remember that to worry is just a waste of time because my faith in God and his Divine Plan ensures everything will be just fine. And tonight, before I go to bed, I'll go outside and raise my eyes to the heavens will stand in awe at the beauty of the stars and the moon, and I will praise God for these magnificent treasures. As the day ends and I lay my head down on my pillow, I will thank the Almighty for the best day of my life. And I will sleep the sleep of a contented child, excited with expectation because I know tomorrow is going

Moving into a Trailer

I'm tired of paying property taxes, school taxes, state taxes, etc.I want to live more independently. Some may say I'll become trailer trash so I want your opinion before I make this decision.































































































What do you think about my decision?

VERY INTERESTING AND PROVOKING




One day all the employees reached the office and they saw a big NOTICE on the door which read...... 'Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this Company has passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym'. In the beginning, they all felt sad for the death of one of their Colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself. The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up. Everyone thought: 'Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, At least he died!'. One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when They looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby The coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the Deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it Could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: 'There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: It is YOU. You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the Only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your Success. You are the only person who can help yourself. Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends Change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your Company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond Your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one Responsible for your life. 'The most important relationship you can have, is the one you have with Yourself' Examine yourself, watch yourself. Don't be afraid of difficulties, Impossibilities and losses: be a winner, build yourself and your Reality. The world is like a mirror: it gives back to anyone the reflection of The thoughts in which one has strongly believed.The world and your reality are like mirrors laying in a coffin, which Show to any individual the death of his divine capability to imagine and Create his happiness and his success.It's the way you face Life that makes the difference

Stars That Died

Today we lost

News flash