Wednesday, July 16, 2008

George Carlin's Views on Aging


Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excitedaboutaging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six andahalf. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.


You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey,you'regonna be 16!


And then the greatest day of your life . . you become 21.Eventhe words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!


But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you soundlikebad milk!


He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now,you'reJust a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put onthebrakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 andyour dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.


You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's aday-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."


Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a littlekid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

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