LORD, THEY'RE FINALLY TOGETHER

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. She finally died after having 25 children. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, " Lord, they're finally together." One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, " Do you think he means her first, second or third husband? "

The friend replied, " I think he means her legs

What Makes 100%

This equation should be taught in all math classes!From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 127%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top!
If I may add one more equation :
W-H-O Y-O-U K-N-O-W
23+8+15+25+15+21+11+14+15+23 = 170%

Suge Knight got knocked the fu** out...

Suge Knight, 6'3" 315 pounds was knocked out by this man 5'8" 175 he choose not to give his name.

These words were heard several times at the scene.

Damn you Got knocked the Fu*k out.

From My understanding he never saw the punch coming.

Maya Angelou said this:

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."

"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."

"I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life."

"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."

"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.

People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."

"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

The theft of time

Theft Problem IMPORTANT MESSAGE:You've heard about people who have been abducted and hadtheir kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few yearsago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else'sthighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had thetexture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these andwhat happened to mine? I spent the entire summer lookingfor my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resignedmyself to living out my life in jeans. And then thethieves struck again.My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they tookpains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they hadstuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached atleast three inches lower than my original! I realizedI'd have to give up my jeans in favor of longskirts.Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I wasfixing my hairand was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swingto and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This wasreally getting scary - my body was being replaced onesection at a time. What could they do to menext?When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, Idecided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake upand smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons areusing REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you andme! The next time someone you know has something'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.WARN YOUR FRIENDS!P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bedand they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I wasrelieved to see that they had just been hiding in myarmpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in mywaistband

This is will blow your mind!!!

Pass it on if you enjoyed!!!

What is a ARM?

ARM is an Adjustable Rate Mortgage. So many time time customers freak out when they know that their loan is ready to adjust. Some even think that there loan is going to balloon to 12, 13, or 14 percent interest rates. When no information is given or no one took the time to explain how an ARM actually works a creates a fear of the unknown . So the general public has developed a preconceived notion. Today I will show you why your rate rises and in some cases will fall. In April 1,1987 the interest rate was 7.75%. So lets say you were 2 points over prime your that would make your interest rate 9.75. Now 6 Months later in October the prime rate is 9% so now your interest rate is now 11%. The one thing that I want you to see that the rates don't jump in leaps, it rises in increments.

The prime rate history does not stay high and will not stay low, it will be like time, consistent. The ARM is directly related to the Prime Rate (The prime rate is defined by The Wall Street Journal as "The base rate on corporate loans posted by at least 75% of the nation's 30 largest banks."). Above is a Prime Rate history so you can see the fluctuations of the prime rate. So when you are offered an ARM its based on so many point over prime. The better your credit history the better your interest rate will be.

So even if you have an ARM, and can not refinance your loan here is the key. An extra $10 or $20 dollars a month can help you to not only pay your loan off 4 to 8 years sooner, but it can also help you control how much money you pay in interest!

If you have your truth and lending paper work nearby take a look at it, you will pay over 2.5 times the actual loan amount. So if you borrowed $100,000 in 30 years you will pay about $270,000.