Thee Bullets

There once was a man who had nothing for his family to eat. He had an old rifle and three bullets. So, he decided that he would go out hunting and kill some wild game for dinner. As he went down the road, he saw a rabbit. He shot at the rabbit and missed it. The rabbit ran away. Then he saw a squirrel and fired a shot at the squirrel and missed it. The squirrel disappeared into a hole in a cottonwood tree. As he went further, he saw a large wild "Tom" turkey in the tree, but he had only one bullet remaining. A voice spoke to him and said, "Pray first, aim high and stay focused." However, at the same time, he saw a deer which was a better kill. He brought the gun down and aimed at the deer. But, then he saw a rattlesnake between his legs about to bite him, so he naturally brought the gun down further to shoot the rattlesnake. Still, the voice said again to him, "I said 'Pray, Aim high and Stay focused." So, the man decided to listen to God's voice. He prayed, then aimed the gun high up in the tree and shot the wild turkey. The bullet bounced off the turkey and killed the deer. The handle fell off the gun and hit the snake in the head and killed it. And, when the gun had gone off, it knocked him into a pond. When he stood up to look around, he had fish in all his pockets, a dead deer and a turkey to eat for his family. The snake (Satan) was dead simply because the man listened to God. Moral of the story: Pray first before you do anything, Aim and shoot high in your goals, and stay focused on God. Never let others discourage you concerning your past. The past is exactly that. "the past." Live every day one day at a time and remember that only God knows our future and that He will not put you through any more than you can bear. Do not look to man for your blessings, but look to the doors that only He has prepared in advance for you in your favor. Wait, be still and patient: keep God first and everything else will follow. Pass this on in order that someone else might be blessed.

Christmas at the post office

Christmas Story There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.The letter read:Dear God,I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?Sincerely,EdnaThe postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read, Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office.Sincerely yours,Edna

Most Fuel Efficient Automakers

By J.D. BOOTH AOL AUTOS


With fuel prices soaring and seemingly no end in sight, where does one turn?For some, it's a vehicle that's been engineered to sip, not guzzle. The question then: Which brand is more likely to ease you out of the gas station without feeling you've been turned upside down and shaken?Perhaps surprisingly, it's not always the Asian-based carmakers that come up on top where fuel economy ratings are concerned.A look at the U.S. government's official fuel economy ratings (published by the Department of Energy, the Office of Energy Efficiency and the Environmental Protection Agency) might not be light reading, but it does give a new sense of perspective on what is a very complex issue.
Top 10 Best Average Fuel Economy AutoMakers
Rank
Combined
Manufacturer
# Cars
1
27.66 mpg
MINI
12
2
23.81 mpg
Honda
27
3
23.36 mpg
Chevrolet
88
4
22.33 mpg
Lotus
3
5
22.21 mpg
Volkswagen
28
6
22.20 mpg
Pontiac
24
7
22.14 mpg
Saturn
21
8
21.8 mpg
KIA
20
9
21.77 mpg
Suzuki
18
10
21.6 mpg
Toyota
55
One observation: Carmakers are, on the whole, doing a pretty good job of bringing choice to the market when it comes to fuel economy.There may, however, be two races to win: the most fuel-efficient car on the road and the automaker that "on average" is most likely to save you money at the pump.On a single car basis, the Toyota Prius comes out on top, its hybrid technology delivering 48 city miles on a gallon (like other hybrids, its fuel efficiency drops slightly on the highway, to 45).With fuel prices hitting hard, where are motorists more likely to find relief?On a fleet basis, the best performing manufacturer is BMW's MINI division, with three models averaging out at just over 27 mpg city/highway.But fitting a family any bigger than two or three in the MINI isn't possible; Honda might be a more realistic choice, its 27 models average out at almost 24 mpg combined.Domestically, the winner in average fuel economy is Chevrolet, its 88 models average a combined 23.26 mpg combined city/highway, only slightly lower than Honda's 23.81 mpg average.What's more impressive is that Chevrolet's numbers factor in a full line of trucks, not the case with Honda (its only offering in that category being the Ridgeline).But as shoppers would be quick to point out, it's not the fleet that we're buying. It's the individual car or truck.
Top 10 Worst Average Fuel Economy AutoMakers
Rank
Combined
Manufacturer
# Cars
1
10 mpg
Bugatti
1
2
11.44 mpg
Lamborghini
9
3
11.66 mpg
Bentley
6
4
12.16 mpg
Ferrari
6
6
13.33 mpg
Aston Martin
6
7
14 mpg
Rolls-Royce
3
8
14.5 mpg
Maserati
2
9
14.66mpg
Land Rover
6
10
14.66 mpg
Hummer
3
10
15.30 mpg
GMC
69
By category, the 2008 Fuel Economy Guide singles out the leaders, and there it's more than a little apparent that the traditional Asian and European brands aren't about to give up their leadership position.For two-seaters, it's Mercedes' Smart brand that delivers 33/41 mpg city/highway, followed by Mazda's MX-5 and its 22/27 mpg rating.MINI stands alone in the next size category (mini-subcompact), with its two variations (manual and automatic) delivering 28/37 combined and 26/34 respectively.An interesting side note: the traditional argument that manual transmissions deliver higher fuel economy no longer holds true. Several carmakers boast higher fuel economy with the automatic transmission than with a manual (if available).Toyota's Yaris takes top honors in the subcompact category, posting 29/35 with an automatic transmission (29/36 for the manual).The compact category has the Honda Civic Hybrid at the top of the ratings, with its 40/45 mpg, followed by Toyota's Corolla and its 28/37 mpg rating.A little bigger vehicle will still take you further, notably if it's the industry leading Toyota Prius. In second place is the Nissan Versa and its 26/31 mpg rating.The federal government's "large car" category has the Honda Accord at the top with 21/31 mpg (manual) and 22/31 mpg (automatic).Honda once again takes top honors in the small station wagon category, the Fit coming in at 27/34 (automatic) and 28/34 (manual).Volkswagen's Passat came out on top in the midsize station wagon category with 20/28 mpg for the automatic and 20/29 with manual transmission.Where pickups are concerned, the differences between manufacturers are only slight, with Ford's Ranger two-wheel-drive Ranger pickup tying with its Mazda cousin, the B2300 at 21/26 mpg city/highway, followed by Toyota's Tacoma two-wheel-drive version delivering slightly less -- 19/25 mpg.In the standard pickup truck category, 15/20 mpg city/highway seems to be the standard, only the Dodge Dakota and Mitsubishi's Raider (both two-wheel-drive) eking out a slightly higher 16 mpg city.GM apparently owns the cargo van category when it comes to fuel economy, its Chevy 1500/2500 and GMC version delivering 15/20 mpg.And the Mazda5 has similar bragging rights in the minivan category, with 21/27 mpg (automatic) and 22/28 mpg (manual).The sport utility vehicle category has Ford Motor Co. taking top honors, not only with the Ford Escape Hybrid at 34/30 but its virtually identical hybrid cousins the Mazda Tribute and Mercury Mariner. The Jeep Compass and Patriot, both with manual transmission and two-wheel-drive, are rated at 23/28 mpg city/highway.So who's the worst when it comes to earning the gas guzzler label?Look to the so-called "exotics." The average Lamborghini, for example, will average just over 11 mpg (combined city and highway), only slightly outdoing the two-seater Bugatti Veyron's 10 mpg. But people who buy those cars aren't nearly as likely to wince as the gas pump numbers go flying by.The lesson: Just about any way the numbers are sliced and diced, there are options for car buyers looking for fuel relief.And the differences may be surprising.Comparisons based on data available in the Model Year 2008 Fuel Economy Guide, published by the U.S. Department of Energy, the Office of Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy and the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency -- www.fueleconomy.gov. Number of vehicles for each manufacturer includes variations in transmission, engine and trim, and fuel octane requirements.

Zen Sarcasms

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2 The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn , so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed...... skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. .

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield.

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put back in your pocket.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

17. There are two theories to arguing with a women - Neither one works.

18. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog - Duh! I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up>in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. he package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital. I said no. I'd been sitting in the street licking my rear when a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

Is recession turning into depression

This is one of the most trying times that we have ever experienced in our lifetime. Between Bush and natural disaster we have reached a point where we have no where else to turn. Gas, food and now the utility cost keep reaching record highs. The weight of the economy is reaching its capacity. I think the word recession is a word that is slowly changing into a word called depression... I wish the state of the economy was number one issue on the candiates priority. Sure the war is important and we need it but lets be real $5.00 a gallon gas and $4.00 a gallon milk is where we are at. Its quite a shame that we have to weigh to eat or work...

Jessie Jackson running his mouth

Jessie Jackson was talking when he leaned over and whispered into a live "Fox & Friends" microphone that he'd like to "cut his [Obama's] nuts off. Its amazing what people will say when they think that you can not hear them. He never once came out and said I am sorry for what I said, but instead I support his campaign. If he had that much dislike for the man, why show up and show out? I can only imagine what he says when he gets home and closes his door! Surely with friends like that Obama does not really need any enemys.